Other

Meh

July 8, 2017 | 11 Comments

How’s everyone? I’m feeling a bit low. I’m not completely sure why, but I think I’m carrying around a lot of anxiety about this country right now (more than usual). This isn’t going to be a post all about that though, because I’m just too tired to think about it anymore. Just to say that I’m usually an optimist but lately it’s all been feeling a bit hopeless.

In fact, I’d say that 2017 is probably the most pessimistic about SA’s future that I’ve ever felt, since we moved back here from the UK in 2009. This is an older post on the Discopants blog that echoes many of my sentiments, although she ends it on more of a positive note than I’ve been feeling lately.

But moving on (because I can ruminate and wallow in anxiety but that does no one any good). We’re all in hibernation mood here in Cape Town. I’ve felt that winter hibernation thing much more here than in Jozi: all I’ve wanted to do is to stay home and bunker down and cook meals and be by ourselves. Does this help my mood? I’m not sure that it does, especially when the kids start fighting due to cabin fever and hitting each other over the head.

We’re going out for dinner tonight, which will make a nice change from traipsing around in our bunny onesie (me) and our leopard onesie (him). My brother and his wife are in town so we’ve booked a table at a nice restaurant and we’ll even go for drinks beforehand, like sophisticated grown ups do. We may or may not wear our onesies. Jokes.

The kids are on school holidays so this last week was full of trying to arrange play dates, and taking them grocery shopping, and doing any thing we could do to get them out of the house. I’ve also recently discovered Club V at the gym which has been such a game changer! (why did it take me so long?).

And then the REALLY exciting news is that I have a new niece! My sister had her baby girl two weeks ago in the UK and we are all over the moon. Even better, I am flying over to see her next week. Because my mother can’t be there to support my sister, my Dad has very generously bought me a plane ticket to go over and spend some time with them.

I hope I remember all the newborn stuff guys! I can’t wait to cuddle that little baba and I’m really looking forward to being there with them all. The kids are getting very used to me going away – but these are exceptional circumstances with a new baba in the family, and I know they will love the time with their dad and my in-laws.

There was such a great response to my Imperfect Parenting post – thank you! And it seems I’m not the only one who feels this way as Laura and Cindy have both written similar posts recently and they’re worth a read…simply to remind ourselves of how we’re all just doing our best.

I wish I had some big idea to end this post on, but I don’t. I just have this MEH feeling that is following me around at the moment like a little grey cloud. And as much yoga as I do (okay I only went once last week), I can’t seem to shake it. I don’t think social media is helping, as the news every single day is ALL BAD.

I know I have so much to be grateful for, but today my world just feels a little bleak.

Thanks for listening to my moan,

xxx

11 Comments

  • Reply Rose Rorke July 8, 2017 at 4:51 pm

    It is hard to stay positive at the moment. My second child is 3mnths old and I’m struggling to picture what her and her brothers future is going to look like. I Still have faith though and as a teacher I see reasons everyday to remain optimistic.

    • Reply Belinda Mountain July 9, 2017 at 8:07 am

      That’s good to hear Rose. I know there are a lots of reasons to remain positive – and I will be seeking them out in the coming weeks.x

  • Reply Megan Keith July 9, 2017 at 9:06 am

    So sorry you’ve been feeling like this! But I’m sure the newborn cuddles will lift your spirits considerably! Have a good trip! Megan xx

  • Reply Laura July 9, 2017 at 11:03 pm

    It’s time for us to organise that masked ball. You need a good boogie. Xx

  • Reply Louise Jackson July 10, 2017 at 9:23 am

    Feeling exactly the same way B… 3 of my friends are emigrating (one has already gone) and it’s left me feeling a bit sad and down. Trying not to think about it too much as we are definitely not going anywhere. BUT biggest congrats on the arrival of your niece and I’m sure it’ll mean the world to your sister to have you there for her. Such a special time for you both. Much love x

    • Reply Belinda Mountain July 10, 2017 at 10:07 am

      We’re also not going anywhere Lou! It just all makes me very sad – a country and people with so much potential being completely messed with by a few. But being so low must mean that change is imminent here…this is what I keep holding on to anyway.

  • Reply Antwane July 16, 2017 at 12:46 pm

    The feeling in SA is felt among many South Africans. Please don’t feel down, I know it’s easier said than done. We (my hubby & 3 girls) are immigrating back to South Africa after 16years in the UK & I am so excited and happy. Sadly no one appears to share my enthusiasm for my beautiful land. A few days ago I met a lovely English women who conveyed to me how much she loves SA & she has family here who will never leave. I love England but it is not home. There is so much more to SA than the politics. I’m hopeful that although we are going thru a trying time, no doubt it will shake us we will get thru. Thank God for my Homeward bound Facebook page. I do hope that you have an amazing holiday in London with your sister and come back feeling refreshed.

    • Reply Belinda Mountain July 16, 2017 at 10:03 pm

      Thanks so much for your comment Antwane – I know it is a phase and that it will probably pass! I’m in England at the moment and I’m loving being here again, but also realising how much good there is at home too. Good luck with the move!

      • Reply Antwane July 19, 2017 at 12:26 pm

        Thanks Belinda. Enjoy your holiday & time with your sis

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