Inspiration, Marriage

Fleas, Marriage & Chocolate

June 10, 2018 | 18 Comments

How’s everyone? I have flea bites all over my legs and I’m desperately trying not to scratch them. I think fleas may have been nesting in my slippers, because I started scratching like crazy one night after getting into bed (and I’d been wearing my slippers all evening). No one else in the family has bites. Both our dogs have recently been de-flead at the vet. THE BITES ARE DRIVING MY CRAZY, even though I smear Anthisan all over them each morning. These are WAY worse than mosquito bites and I really feel like I’ve made some sort of major hygiene error, except I cannot isolate what it is. Send advice.

This week we heard the incredibly sad news that chef, presenter, traveller, writer and all round brilliant person Anthony Bourdain had died from suicide. I don’t know a lot about depression or suicide, so I won’t try to give advice, or commentary. What I prefer to do when I don’t know a lot about something is to listen and read, read, read. We need to listen to sufferers of depression, to those who have lost loved ones to suicide, and we all need to try and learn. Most of all, we need to talk about it, because the stigma around mental illness must end. This post on Cup of Jo is an enlightening one, and this post by a parent who lost a child to suicide will make you weep.

On a much lighter note I’ve been thinking about relationships lately, and how different two people can be, even though they may share similar views on the big stuff (i.e morals). This was highlighted last week when a friend told me that Pick ‘n Pay was having a special on Lindt chocolate (thanks Renee!). Anyway I trundled off to PnP and bought four slabs: one in Milk chocolate flavour (because that is my fave), and then three dark chocolate ones (because I know those are more sophisticated and I like to try and pretend I am fancy sometimes). They were on special at R29.99 each, and they always come in handy as hostess gifts, or when you’re having people over, or maybe when you feel like a special treat – so I was very chuffed with myself.

It came to after dinner that night, and my husband had somehow found out about the Lindt, probably because I had told him in excitement about my bargain (I know this sounds tedious but I will get to the point soon I promise!). I said I would show him where the chocolate was stashed, but that we were only allowed a square or two each. He nodded vaguely, while I folded open the cardboard around the slab and took off the foil.

I broke off my one piece of the Milk chocolate bar, closed my eyes and nibbled on it slowly, enjoying the creaminess – kind of like Charlie does in Charlie & the Chocolate Factory. I opened my eyes and looked at my husband: he had already finished his first piece and was breaking off two more pieces and then they were gone down his gullet. Then he broke off another two pieces and I was still holding my half eaten first piece in my hand. I exclaimed that he was being greedy and was it really necessary to consume so much expensive/indulgent chocolate in one sitting? CAN YOU NOT RESTRAIN YOURSELF?

And then he just looked at me and took the last pieces of the SLAB and popped them into his mouth and went and lay on the couch with a happy smile on his face, like he had not just committed the biggest act of treason in the Mountain family since our dog Buckley ate those seven sausages off the stove. He was very pleased with himself. I was not.

I was in fact fuming.

My opinion: Lindt is special (& for special occasions) & you do not gobble down a whole slab on a normal week night.

His opinion: It tastes delicious, I am an adult and it was cheaper than normal, so eating the whole thing is totally fine.

I was one of those children who rations their Easter Eggs and finally finishes them just before the next Easter (in which case they’ve started to go a little crusty). I generally scrimp, save and restrain myself, in case a rainy day comes and you need that energy, cash, or chocolate for example. And I felt territorial about that particular slab of chocolate. I’d gone all the way to the shops and bought it specially, and that one slab was for me, because I liked that flavour more than the others.

My husband is more hedonistic. Life is short, so why not drink the wine, eat the chocolate, go on that holiday or buy those trainers you don’t really need (but which are currently on special and who doesn’t love a good bargain?!).

I guess we need each other. I need to not be so uptight. I need to be reminded to enjoy life.

He needs someone to rein in him sometimes. To remind him that there will be rainy days, so restraint has its place.

“Did you really get all that from me eating that one Lindt slab?” he just exclaimed, on reading this…”but where have you stashed the rest of it though?” he says while heading to the kitchen and half looking through the shelves (they’re behind a casserole dish in an unlikely cupboard).

When I tweeted about this incident, most people were on his side: “My husband would definitely not let me comment on the amount of chocolate he eats!” said one person. I guess this shows that I’m a bit of a weirdo. Which is where social media can come in handy, as it can provide valuable input that makes you consider that your reactions may not be quite normal.

I guess where I’m going with all of this is that in any relationship, it’s not always the big things that can come between you. Sometimes it’s the small things that can highlight how different you are. It can be something as small as a bar of chocolate.

How about you guys: are you the chocolate hoarder in your relationship or the one who smashes a slab?

Have good weeks all – may there be chocolate in it.

xxx

Belinda

 

 

 

18 Comments

  • Reply Ailsa Porter June 10, 2018 at 8:56 pm

    Several years ago for a very short time I rented a little flat on the beach front in Gordons Bay. I didn’t know we had a problem until I rescued a kitten crying outside in a gale. This poor kitten came in and started leaping around like a jackrabbit. My Mum said you get sand fleas there and be sure to vacuum everyday. I went and bought the flea fumigation cans and fumigated. Spen six months there and in Strand and didn’t have a problem again.
    I can’t save chocolate, biscuits, crisps etc. I eat until I can’t eat any more.

    • Reply Belinda Mountain June 11, 2018 at 8:21 am

      Hmm we’re not near the beach, so don’t think sand fleas. But am considering the fumigation idea thanks Ailsa!

  • Reply Tidi Esther Madibo June 11, 2018 at 7:44 am

    oooh I smash that slab like a little kid in a candy shop….I rest and breath only after I squash the wrap

  • Reply Robyn June 11, 2018 at 9:27 am

    I’m exactly like you!!!!

    • Reply Belinda Mountain June 11, 2018 at 12:42 pm

      finally! (all the other commenters have mostly been the chocolate lovers!)

  • Reply Jo June 11, 2018 at 11:56 am

    I’m generally the more financially conservative one in our marriage but it definitely doesn’t play out in the same way regarding our chocolate consumption. Put a slab of Lindt in front of me and I’m definitely the one who wants to smash the slab!!

    • Reply Belinda Mountain June 11, 2018 at 12:38 pm

      Haha Jo – must actually mention that my husband is generally good at managing money (he just loves a deal;). As for you, get to PnP quick!

  • Reply caleyjaderosenberg June 11, 2018 at 12:20 pm

    Haha, another post that has made me giggle…
    I am a one piece gal but also a let’s just book the holiday and buy the once in a lifetime statement jacket. My hubs is the opposite – he’s an all slab guy but very weary booking the trip and buying the clothing. A good mix!
    So sorry about the fleas friend x

    • Reply Belinda Mountain June 11, 2018 at 12:37 pm

      Yes you are right – we can all be restrained in different facets of our lives! Glad it made you laugh x

  • Reply rumtumtiggs June 11, 2018 at 1:34 pm

    Oh my word! Me to re: the fleas. I have washed my slippers and still they feast. Re the chocs, well, it’s been a long time since Lindt has been an option in the budget. I have found my tolerance for chocolate decreasing though and it actually makes my insomnia worse. WHY!!!!!???? It does mean that my chocs last forever though so I get to feel all grown up and mature about it ;P. My hubby is also an eat all the things type, especially when he is bored.

    • Reply Belinda Mountain June 11, 2018 at 6:34 pm

      On the fleas: a colleague told me today that he buys something called DieFlea/DiFlea that you get from PnP to fumigate your house – is the only thing that’s worked for him. Not sure how toxic it is for the rest of the family but going to check it out…

  • Reply alexbcss June 11, 2018 at 4:43 pm

    We both have our two squares of Lindt chocolate each, every night while we are watching TV. Like two little old nerds. It’s our thing. However, it does drive me crazy when, on the rarest of occasion, I buy myself a special treat or am given a special hostess gift and when I really feel like it it has more often than not disappeared into someone else’s tummy!

    • Reply Belinda Mountain June 11, 2018 at 6:32 pm

      Haha Alex, you guys are the sweetest! Glad the chocolate scoffing is at least even in your relationship;)

  • Reply Kit June 12, 2018 at 8:25 am

    Living on a farm the flea problem is real Sometimes it gets worse when the animals have just been treated cos now you’re the tastiest thing around instead of them It’s fleas just hatching out from eggs left by the last lot before the cats /dogs were treated This year is the first time we’ve got on top of the problem with dog on Bravecto and cats on monthly doses of Revolution but it’s expensive! Vacuuming daily helps in the interim and a one off fumigate will help if it’s just a few fleas but doesn’t affect unhatched eggs So keep vacuuming to mop those up.
    Hot spoon treatment helps flea bites but they are horribly itchy I sympathise

    • Reply Belinda Mountain June 12, 2018 at 9:01 am

      Thanks Kit -have made a note to vacuum more than usual and I’m booking the fumigator because I’m desperate!

  • Reply robynrose June 12, 2018 at 11:34 am

    The humour in this blog post, I can har your voice and Piels! I eat ALL the chocolate in the house for sure! Richie is very controlled 😉

  • Let me know what you think!