How’s everyone? I have flea bites all over my legs and I’m desperately trying not to scratch them. I think fleas may have been nesting in my slippers, because I started scratching like crazy one night after getting into bed (and I’d been wearing my slippers all evening). No one else in the family has bites. Both our dogs have recently been de-flead at the vet. THE BITES ARE DRIVING MY CRAZY, even though I smear Anthisan all over them each morning. These are WAY worse than mosquito bites and I really feel like I’ve made some sort of major hygiene error, except I cannot isolate what it is. Send advice.
This week we heard the incredibly sad news that chef, presenter, traveller, writer and all round brilliant person Anthony Bourdain had died from suicide. I don’t know a lot about depression or suicide, so I won’t try to give advice, or commentary. What I prefer to do when I don’t know a lot about something is to listen and read, read, read. We need to listen to sufferers of depression, to those who have lost loved ones to suicide, and we all need to try and learn. Most of all, we need to talk about it, because the stigma around mental illness must end. This post on Cup of Jo is an enlightening one, and this post by a parent who lost a child to suicide will make you weep.
On a much lighter note I’ve been thinking about relationships lately, and how different two people can be, even though they may share similar views on the big stuff (i.e morals). This was highlighted last week when a friend told me that Pick ‘n Pay was having a special on Lindt chocolate (thanks Renee!). Anyway I trundled off to PnP and bought four slabs: one in Milk chocolate flavour (because that is my fave), and then three dark chocolate ones (because I know those are more sophisticated and I like to try and pretend I am fancy sometimes). They were on special at R29.99 each, and they always come in handy as hostess gifts, or when you’re having people over, or maybe when you feel like a special treat – so I was very chuffed with myself.
It came to after dinner that night, and my husband had somehow found out about the Lindt, probably because I had told him in excitement about my bargain (I know this sounds tedious but I will get to the point soon I promise!). I said I would show him where the chocolate was stashed, but that we were only allowed a square or two each. He nodded vaguely, while I folded open the cardboard around the slab and took off the foil.
I broke off my one piece of the Milk chocolate bar, closed my eyes and nibbled on it slowly, enjoying the creaminess – kind of like Charlie does in Charlie & the Chocolate Factory. I opened my eyes and looked at my husband: he had already finished his first piece and was breaking off two more pieces and then they were gone down his gullet. Then he broke off another two pieces and I was still holding my half eaten first piece in my hand. I exclaimed that he was being greedy and was it really necessary to consume so much expensive/indulgent chocolate in one sitting? CAN YOU NOT RESTRAIN YOURSELF?
And then he just looked at me and took the last pieces of the SLAB and popped them into his mouth and went and lay on the couch with a happy smile on his face, like he had not just committed the biggest act of treason in the Mountain family since our dog Buckley ate those seven sausages off the stove. He was very pleased with himself. I was not.
I was in fact fuming.
My opinion: Lindt is special (& for special occasions) & you do not gobble down a whole slab on a normal week night.
His opinion: It tastes delicious, I am an adult and it was cheaper than normal, so eating the whole thing is totally fine.
I was one of those children who rations their Easter Eggs and finally finishes them just before the next Easter (in which case they’ve started to go a little crusty). I generally scrimp, save and restrain myself, in case a rainy day comes and you need that energy, cash, or chocolate for example. And I felt territorial about that particular slab of chocolate. I’d gone all the way to the shops and bought it specially, and that one slab was for me, because I liked that flavour more than the others.
My husband is more hedonistic. Life is short, so why not drink the wine, eat the chocolate, go on that holiday or buy those trainers you don’t really need (but which are currently on special and who doesn’t love a good bargain?!).
I guess we need each other. I need to not be so uptight. I need to be reminded to enjoy life.
He needs someone to rein in him sometimes. To remind him that there will be rainy days, so restraint has its place.
“Did you really get all that from me eating that one Lindt slab?” he just exclaimed, on reading this…”but where have you stashed the rest of it though?” he says while heading to the kitchen and half looking through the shelves (they’re behind a casserole dish in an unlikely cupboard).
When I tweeted about this incident, most people were on his side: “My husband would definitely not let me comment on the amount of chocolate he eats!” said one person. I guess this shows that I’m a bit of a weirdo. Which is where social media can come in handy, as it can provide valuable input that makes you consider that your reactions may not be quite normal.
I guess where I’m going with all of this is that in any relationship, it’s not always the big things that can come between you. Sometimes it’s the small things that can highlight how different you are. It can be something as small as a bar of chocolate.
How about you guys: are you the chocolate hoarder in your relationship or the one who smashes a slab?
Have good weeks all – may there be chocolate in it.